May
19
Tags
A Six Dollar Massage in Bali
With one hand on my ass for purchase she pulled herself up onto the massage table. I was originally worried that a six dollar massage in a rundown Balinese massage parlor would invite an offer for extra services, but it looked like a quick ending to this slapdash rubdown would be the only possible happy ending.
My wife is a professional, certified, and proud massage therapist who takes it very seriously. Calls from girls on the streets of Legian, Bali for, “Massage; Cheap price; Full body,” always and inevitably receive a polite, “No thanks”.
I stumbled along reading a pamphlet advertising a lengthy menu of treatments and prices. “Babe? Did you know that a 60 minute Balinese massage costs $6?”
“You do it.” She said.
“C’mon, how bad can it be?”
She turned with a grin, “You get what you pay for.”
Persuaded by gushing traveler reviews and undeterred by a professional opinion, I set out to find a good $6 massage. Out on the streets I was approached by a small, plump, middle-aged woman asking, “Massage?” There was no obvious storefront. “Upstairs,” she said pointing to a nearby doorway. I opted to go in search of something a bit more professional looking – a hand-painted sign maybe. “You want young girl?” I heard her say behind me as I quickened my walk and turned the corner. I found myself deeply troubled that the $6 massage may simply be a seedy ruse for sex-acts with small, plump, middle-aged ladies and young girls.
I stopped in front of a small storefront filled with a group of bleach-blonde women getting foot massages. Their carefree voices spilled out on to the street giving the place a sense of legitimacy. One of Balinese girls sitting outside asked, “Massage?”
I lay on the table wondering how anyone made money on six dollar massages. $1 for the house, $1 for the girl, and $4 for the enormous slicks of oil now on my body. I considered if I would make it out alive if there were a fire or would I simply slip and slide in place. The “therapist” was like a lazy teen reluctantly doing chores. My limbs were tossed and dropped. My back was poked and jabbed. Relief came during breaks when she would disappear to whisper with a friend on the other side of the sheet which divided myself and another client. Unsure if I was fully covered or not, I was left to exchange pleasantries with a woman getting a pedicure just past the open sheet divider.
Legian was a bust. But there was still Ubud. Tucked down behind Monkey Forest road, behind a group of craft stalls lies a pleasant courtyard, with a painter’s studio, a cafe, and a tiny massage shop. No poking, no disappearing and whispering, simply a confident and professional massage with no awkward or painful surprises. But ultimately, I didn’t find a quality $6 massage. After adding the tip it cost me $12.
————————————-
What are your thoughts on these massages? Worth it or not?
That Estonian Girl 
Having experienced these massages personally, I love it! It’s all about expectations. I have never eaten at McDonalds’s expecting to have a great meal. Like the Balinese massage, I go to McDonald’s because it’s cheap and feels good in a self-destructive way.
Mr. Hack – You’re a poet.
Having had massages at the fines hotels in Miami and NYC, as well as foot massages all over Asia, I can tell you the $6 massage in Bali is as good as any. Just go to a place where there are girls all in uniforms. It’ll tell you it’s a legit place. Now, they may offer you “special massage” while on the table, then “up to you”. But this guys experience in this article is the minority of occurrences. Further, every massage is the same technique. Obviously these girls go to a school for this.
Hi Scott. Thanks for your response. It’s interesting to read about other people’s experiences. Don’t get me wrong. I did have the opportunity to have some very professional massages while in Bali, the one mentioned here was not one of them. Maybe I caught this therapist on the wrong day. Regardless, she did give me something to talk about and ultimately write about here. Best of luck on future massages to us both. Cheers.
having had many massages in kuta, legian. sanur, Ubud, nusa lembongan – I can tell you that the difference between a $4.50 -$6.00 massage and the more expensive massages available in luxurious spas and resorts is only the cost (and the ambience). It depends on the individual masseuse. I like to find a good one and stick with her whilst I am over there. I would say 8 our of 10 masseuses are very good. But you have to give feedback… too hard… too soft… please dont keep stopping and leaving to chat to your friend…etc….
Hi Evan. Good points. I agree that it is absolutely possible to get a really good therapist for a low price. I just returned from Hanoi and had a massage there that was outstanding. The therapist really knew her stuff. The massage was around $15 and she adamantly wouldn’t accept a tip. However, although I can see giving feedback such as “too hard” or “too soft,” I’m not as confident that “please don’t keep stopping and leaving to chat to your friend,” is something that should leave anyone feeling satisfied. That’s sort of like going to a restaurant and having to ask the waiter to not sneeze in your plate. Maybe I’m just being too fussy.
Different culture. The balinese work long hours over 6 days a week with very few holidays for very little money (average income is between $750 – $1000 per annum (less tips) for most workers. They are very family/social oriented. They treat their workmates/workplace almost as an extension of their home life which traditionally includes parents, married siblings, and their offspring (up to about 16 people) living in a small compound with 2 living quarters (one for the grandparents and one for the rest of the family) one kitchen/ablution “block” , a temple and an outdoor living area. They see nothing “wrong” with chatting and laughing whilst at work. However, they are extremely obliging and will focus on the massage if you ask them to please not keep stopping/chatting to their friends/coworkers. Overall they are a much happier people than their western style counterparts. Theres a lot to be said for remaining family/community oriented. I think we have lost something along the way – replacing family with child care centres and counsellors.
I have yet to see any balinese intoxicated or using drugs. I am NOT referring to the Javanese who frequent Kuta and its environs. Easy to identify – just say “Thank You” in Balinese instead of Indonesian. If they dont reply with the Balinese equivalent of “You’re welcome”, then they are not Balinese (hindu) but Javanese (Muslim).
The above might be a bit simplistic but I have found it works for me. Love the people and the culture (and the food, and the massages, and their smiles, and their…etc….)
Well put. The Balinese are a special people and because of that, it is one of the places I am looking forward to visit again.
Im going tomorrow! Was googling if there’s good massage/spa and found this. Good to read 🙂